Sep 12, 2014


Supposably i need to work today.
and every saturday mimi will help us.
And today shes not.

So my hubs gonna take care our lil one. all alone ;).
I ask my hub before I go. I waited till 8am. Suppose to come to work at 7 am btw.
I asked my hub "b can u handle? b bole tak ni".. usually when my sis around he would say "takpe" or "bole" or "mimi kan ada".. (bukan dia jaga pun. mimi is the one whos handling everything) hes more to kemas rumah and basuh baju or basuh motor or anything else but not aryan. And I would normally take 2 hour off balik to mandikan aryan and tido kan dia..
But I doubt today my hubs can take care our lil one. When hes still sleeping while aryan awake.. ! At 6 month now he can crawling and eat anything he can hold.. So I msg my manager. "Cartaz today Im mc". deng! knowing that i do not have much leave left. I need to keep some for family wedding :(..
This is not the first time it happen. Can i just be a housewife..

p/s:  still papa is my son favourite. jealous la mummy

Sep 11, 2014

hilang pertimbangan

What happen to me an hour ago.

my fb update........
""" Ok i lost my card.. so he refuse to open the gate. And i said i ada baby takkan nak parking kat luar. besok mcm mana.  he still refuse to open the gate.. luckyly kereta kat blakang pressure him to open the gate..  based on excuses yg he already open the gate twice. I am actually keluar tadi to cari the card balik on the place i left it.. ( rupanya card dlm kereta maklumla mummy) at least consider la. i got baby. he know what...

the things is.  tu bukan kerja dia ke.  bukak gate.

x bole tggu i masuk apartment ke cari card. x kan perempuan sorang2 tgh malam duk kat luar cari kad baru masuk

x consider ke i have a baby.

The way he warn me very rude. it seem hes the owner of this apartment.. "i wont open the gate until u find ur card. wtf! accidently hilang kot. i ada stroller. beg kerja. beg baby lagi. kelam kabut"

Management wont do anything if i'll make a complaint.

I asked my hub to go down

My hub asked what is the problem he said nothing then mula la bangla story.. Tukar cerita...

Then my hubby scolded him why he treat me like that after he refuse to say sorry. I mmg da kiki tadi. Yela dia dok biar i wait in the car dpan gate mcm org gila (xde guna Slock ye :))

Why la.. very bad day..

What should i do this mr sunil.. saje gertak je nak make complaint. management bukan buat apa pun..

Jarang marah orang tapi hari ni terlepas. tapi terkenangkan pagi pagi subuh nak tolak stoller kat luar parking sbb pak guard x kasi masuk. c'moon la. kasi la masa wa settle down dulu cari kad. he said diff things to my hub. With me dia bully. This is the reality pak guard kat kl ni. 
fyi i did talk to him nicely at first place!!

sabar sabar..

p/s : not all guard maybe it just me. bad luck""

ok first of all i sedang menangis sbb i x pernah marah mcm ni. gosh. i hate myself like this. I should not hilang my mind.
ok. i da turun bawah balik and say sorry to the F guard. I am malaysian. Muslim lagi..  i x patot hilang rasional.. tapi guard tu putar belit. the F nya dia x say sorry to me. xpela.. may Allah forgive him and me. Ako pun salah. Maybe he din get my malay? and my screwup english? kena blaja bahasa myammar..

i said i hilang kad..  if he din warn me in the rude way.. i x marah. nak suruh parking kat luar?
I got baby..

Tiba2 the guard tukar cerita lepas i say sorry. dia cakap i terus marah dia. i should park first.
Tapi awal2 dia da cakap kat i. He warned me.. lepas 2 kali he tag access i cannot masuk. And he did it.
And then tukar cerita cakap why I din told him i lost the card. what??? Then why he warned me ealier?

Kesian aryan ako hangkot masa tgh marah.. arghhhh he shud not see me in that way. but i realy lost my mind with this guard sunil. Kalau ako bole ulang balik masa ako malas nak layan.
tapi sbb da marah sangat pak guard duk biar ako tggu dpan gate mcm org gila.  tu syaitan merasuk diri.. ya allah..
I had put my mentality in the same level with monkey.
I had promise myself to be better me esp once im a mother. To be closer to god.
Nah I din realy make a complaint as it was his rezeki.. saja nak gertak.
malu pada diri sendiri bila jadi monyet.
aryan mummy minta maaf. u had seen the worst side of mummy. As I write this I am crying.. but writing is one way to release your anger..
Bad things please go away.

Nanges ingat kan Aryan. he not suppose to see me mengamok.
Ya allah. Mummy sedih syg.  mummy marah sgt tadi sbb mummy risau kan aryan if mummy park kat luar.. subuh2 tu nak jalan. risau.. mummy promise to change ok. gimme sometimes.  sian kat papa tadi..

Somebody comment my fb status. better kasi doa. ada betulnya.
So here my doa masa tgh marah ni. (Da cooldown sikit)

Dear Allah.

Please forgive me.
Please guide me.
Make me a better mother wife and daughther. Please make me stay away with this situation.
Please guide me in finding the truth and maintain it
Please guide this Mr Sunnil to be good with Malaysian citizen.
Please unite all Malaysian.
Please make me strong..
Please make tommorow a better day.

You know the best

P/S : betul la hilang marah.
I should refugee teacher again.

Jun 13, 2014

I miss you like crazy


Have you ever heard the moffats? I miss you like crazy?
I miss my boy like crazy now.
I cannot wait to see him soon.

After maternity, I thought.. Well this is it. Me being a mom. God knows it was not easy being a working mom when your child got sick.
What Vivy said is true. "Woman can't have it all" (I'm following
Since I am working in shift, no one were there to babysit my son during weekend, And with my hubby focusing on his promising career, I need to be there all the time. The only option we had is to send him to nursery.
We choose "Dunia Elit". It was the best nursery in Puncak Jalil but still there is no guarantee,
So the scariest things happen to my boy. :"( And life was turning and spinning upside-down. My boy infected by flu viruses.
Imagine I extending my leave again after my almost 3 months maternity leave, leave me 6 days off. (pfftt rayaƄ how lah!).
With his running nose and coughing and got admitted, I finally decided to send him to my mom so at least by the time he's back to KL, his immune system can develop and be more matured with less risk. It was the best for 3 of us. Besides, I need to focus on my career after the looonggg leave (Eventho, I am blur on what to write on my first half appraisal, maybe having a child and on leave for 5 months :)"

You see, I have to wait another 1 month and a half to bring him back. But I am glad that we can have more time to provide my boy a better family-enviroment when hes back. Recently his dad installed aircond and coway filter and I think this week hes gonna housekeeping the store. Your papa is the best! While mummy have chance to shop and preparing your new clothes. Get well soon son!

 3 of us during his Akikah before turning 3 months. Love my hijab image here. Okay, love it and will don it~

 Him before physiotherapy session. :"(

 Me and him.. Aryan Haziq. Mommy enjoying first class service everyday. haha, Thank you insurance!
 During Neb session with papa

Our life for 2 months! 

Okay, mommy miss you honey!

May 10, 2014

Me and my thoughts on Mothers Day 2014

Its has been a while I din update this blog.
Today is my first time celebrating mothers day :).  So I decided to write what I felt as a mother.
And a little brief on what happened before I deliver the love of my life.

Before he was born.. hmmmm
Truth is both of us is financially struggling before he was born as so called unplanned pregnancy.
Causing me depressed and worrying all the time,
I got accidentally pregnant after spending ALL of our saving on our new house deposit, renovation and my husband buying his bike cash! and paying mimis car and I need to help my sister to build her life as she was jobless for months.
We never wanted to have a baby that year. yet!.
And yes I am happily pregnant and we started to do a checklist and budgeting our spending.
I remember last year I did sooo many OTs. haha! tiring!
I want to deliver at private hospital which of course cost us thousands.
My biggest fear at that time was C-SECT, it means that I need chip out thousand more from our pocket,
Whether I can provide my son a good life for his first year or not.
Whether Mimi is getting jobs or not.
Whether my motherhood can fit in with my work schedule or otherwise.
Whether I can fully breastfeed him and whos gonna taking care of him while I am working.
To summarize, my main concerns during preggy are money for the baby and pregnancy, mimi and her life.

But it was true that your child bring you luck!
Allahamdullilah both of us is getting so much helps from MIL and in laws family, my family, my friends, my colleagues and awesome manager!
And both of us manage to get all things prepared before Aryan Haziq born.
It was funny to see how my husband providing his very best for his child.
And right after Aryan Haziq was born, my husband got promoted to Senior Engineer and get major increment and 4 month bonus, wohoh apa lagi.
and the next following month he get another offer to be the manager next year. Safely signed.
And the MOST happiest thing happened, Allah had answered my prayer, Mimi get her first real job at the best MnC company!
Allahamdullilah my sister will begin her real journey as an adult, (If she go overseas for training, I will follow her, hehe)
And me, yes, I had the flexible shift to fit in my motherhood journey, which is the best for me to stay here. (I love my job by the way).
You see, your child bring rezeki for you.

Well, Let me introduce the love of my life.

Life is getting awesome because of him
Of course there are an upside down especially during confinement day( I am sooo sorry for my meroyan attitude ye Kakchik, Mimi, Mama, Aqilah, Hubby).
It takes a while to adapt my new life..
But things getting better each day and gradually become norm .
Having him in my life makes me a better person which is

- I wanted to do work better (I will fix my punctuality soon!)
- I wake up early and ok if not having enough sleep.
- I am now less worrying-sick about mimi, aqilah and syahirah (I know this bugging you guys but I am seriously love you guys so much, and especially mimi, I am so sorry if I hurt you in anyways, now you had your new life, I will try slowly to let you go).
- Me and husband now manage and spending our money wisely.
- I appreciate and love my mother more.
- I wanted to be good with the in laws. (I am blessed to have good SIL, MIL and BILs seriously! I love them so much!!)
- I wanted to understand myself better. I wanted to learn Islam more, Hopefully I will change to a better person soon!
- I treasure my time more nowadays

I do love my life and the person I have become now.Thanks to you Aryan Haziq and Hubby.

Feb 20, 2014

Memory Lane

Could not sleep. Arghh!! My baby is actively moving and rolling during night. Causing me heavy back pain if I lay down.
Look what I've found in Mimi lappy:

I think this is in my 2nd year degree.
Had been 9 years kot.. Oh how time flies. I love them equally. Realy make me worries , will I love my son like how I love my sisters? Boys. How to be their best friend? Should i worry if he fall or cry? Or let he be so he can be tough! oo how...
No Idea. #Fewdaysmoretogo.

Feb 3, 2014


Ramai antara kita cepat percaya pada news tapi baca je bukan nak google betul betul sahih ke tak cerita tu. cewah.
Ini iklan je tau. Tapi betul la kita ni duk baca news, tengok video orang share pastu percaya bulat bulat.
I was one of them. Tapi kat dunia ni banyak orang merana dan banyak benda kita tak tau.
Cepat psychologically impacted dengan propaganda.

Kita rasa takat 10 hengget apalah sangat. tapi ada orang yg sanggup membunuh utk RM10. Ada anak anak yg seksa lama tak makan.
Kalaula ada duit lebih a.k.a kaya raya memang da lama aku travel ke tempat yang memerlukan. Tolong.
Tapi tula... Masih bukan kategori itu.
Walau macam mana pun masih ada cara untuk kita menolong golongan golongan yang memerlukan.
Ramai orang yang duduk complain hidup susah. Payah nak cari duit. Belanja mahal (nama pun Malaysia) tapi pernah tefikir tak kita ada rumah, masih boleh makan. Ada baju lagi nak pakai.
Macam mana orang yang mati kelaparan? Xde bumbung nak berteduh?

Lepas aku baca pasal Rakhine riot 2012. ako tergerak hati macam mana ako nak tolong bangsa lain seagama dengan aku. Rohingya.
Actually korang pun boleh kalau nak.
Percaya tak kalau aku cakap BANGLA yang korang duk benci benci. Tu lah Rohingya.
Dorang ni Bengali from Bangladesh. Tapi Bangladesh halau so tu yang masuk Myammar. Dapat kerakyatan Myammar lepas tu kena halau lagi. Alah google sendiri la sapa dorang.
Tapi muka memang muka BANGLA ye puan puan.
Agama is Islam. So jangan duk prejudice sangat dengan BANGLA yang korang nampak.

2012, ako pegi register dengan UNHCR. Ada la mini interview. Masa tu banyak free time.
UNHCR akan tetapkan la apa yang kita bole bantu.
Apa-apa je keje volunteer. Expat banyak buat keje keje macam ni.
I vote for teaching. :)
Bila da involve barula tahu.. BANYAK gila refugee kat Malaysia. Serius orang Malaysia baik-baik.
Bila da involve barula tahu.. BANYAK gila support kita provide for them. Ada banyak agency.
Kalau nak tahu details, bole join UNHCR.
Actually bila da join, kita x bole reveal mana sekolah refugee, amek gambar dengan dorang, Any details strictly Private and Confidential. So x bole la ako nak share di sini ye.

Tapi sebab da preggy, I stop my volunteering service, plus kerja kan.
Masa jadi cikgu tu baru bole identified sapa Myammar, sapa Vietnam, Sri Lanka pun ada.. Tapi mostly sebenarnya muka BANGLA which is Rohingya. Lawat la centre dorang. Sorry x bole reveal kat mana.
Kesian tengok dorang. Sekolah buruk, baju buruk, badan bau macam x penah sabun.
Tapi cikgu cikgu seangkatan cakap x bole nak kesian sebab dorang datang illegally to Malaysia.
They should know we do them a favor by educate their kids.
We should make them understand if you want to stay in Malaysia, you should behave and respect Malaysian.

Tujuan sekolah sekolah di bukak sebab nak educate. Kalau duk biar anak anak dorang berkeliaran tak buat apa apa lagi la banyak crime rate.
Oh ya, dorang x bole suka suka hati kerja kat Malaysia. Dorang will be provided refugee card.
Setakat ni x silap (2012) seramai 90 000 ++ refugee kat malaysia. Daripada itu hanya 28000 Rohingya register.
So kalau nak kerja pun pandai-pandai la nak hidup sebab xde permit.
Contoh angkat barang, potong rumput, basuh pinggan.

SEBAB tu bahaya ramai pendatang asing wihout permit.
Kalau da ramai sangat datang, nak kerja pun x bole, mula la desperate buat benda bukan bukan untuk survive.
Logically crime rate makin tinggi.

Oh ya kalau rajin I will share article pasal Singapore, Indonesia suruh boat refugee (Rohingya) patah balik ke laut.
Tahun lepas (2012 to 2013) rajin duk baca article article ni.
Lately je isu berbangkit lepas ada news about ethnic cleansing kat Myammar.
X patut la genocide. Kalau 100 yang jahat habis sejuta nak kena bunuh ke. Sian perempuan dan anak anak yg xde dosa.
Malaysia je yang accept diorang. Tapi jangan cepat tersentap kalau kita suruh boat dorang patah balik ke laut sebab kat Malaysia sendiri pun da terlalu ramai pendatang asing.
Kita ada buat agreement dengan Australia untuk accept kita punya refugee. Bersyarat la of course.
Kena google balik article ni. I read somewhere before. Nantila share. Malas nak cari balik.
Takde la pandai sangat bab politics ni.

So,kawan kawan, if you really want to help.
You can help to volunteer yourself with UNHCR.
Macam-macam cerita direct from the source korang dapat tahu.
Bole tengok lifestyle dorang macam mana. Cara pemikiran dorang.
Maybe bole terjawab Sebab apa, Kenapa..
Tapi tanya secara berlapik. Isu sensitive ni bahaya.
Yang pasti hidup kita dan dorang macam langit dengan bumi
Bole dengar dari dua pihak

You can educate them to behave and be good if they want to stay in Malaysia.
Bole jugak ambik wife dorang suruh jahit jahit baju korang ke. Suruh laki dorang potong rumput.
Bayar la RM 10 - RM 20.

Tapi macam mana pun kena ingat culture dorang, pemikiran dorang x sama dengan kita. Kita sendiri kena berhati hati jugak.
Jangan sampai bawak balik anak anak dorang ke rumah. Bahaya. Bukan berprasagka buruk just be cautious.
Kalau korang nampak BANGLA tu ingat kemungkinan besar diorang is Rohingya walaupun dorang claim dorang BANGLA.

Toodles and good night

Jan 3, 2014

Taska Murah

Well since I am heavily pregnant and will deliver my baby anytime soon, of course finding a good nursery/baby sitter is a must.
But I think I will opt for nursery. susah kut nak cari baby sitter yang baik2 :).
But since price keep rising interm of EVERYTHING!! definitely next year I will be in tight budget.
I asked who is more superior in motherhood thingy. They told me it will defnitely cost me around 1500 to 2000 for my baby to have a good childhood life.
Well mainly in education, nursery, clothing, food and outdoor activity,
(To be honest me and hubby is not parent material. seriously!)

Recently there are too many heartbreaking stories about mishandling baby that causing instant death!
For me handling a baby is not easy. Trust me and it is a common fact.
My mom is a baby sitter. She instantly fall in love with Danish, Farish and Irfan.
All of my family member actually feel so thrilled to have boys in the family.
But it was HARD to find someone who is sincerely loving your child.

So, talking about the fee, most of us expecting to pay 200!! normal range for baby n KL is between 300 to 500,
Guys, be reasonable la sikit. If you paying only 200, how will the nursery make money?
The babysitter taking care your of child need, monitoring their movement, changing diaper, feeding them, educate them and you only expect to pay 200!!
Imagine 1 person to take care 10 babies, so nursery can only make MYR 2000?. Nak bayar babysitter lagi. Who want to live with the income below MYR2000?
It was reasonable to pay MYR500 above, BUT under one condition, the nursery have to maximize the babysitter and minimize the babies.
Let say 1 babysitter to take care 6 babies (maximum). [ONLY infant and do not mixed with toddlers]
So maybe her salary can range between MYR1200 to MYR1800. The rest goes to nursery. (Yela nursery janganla pikir untung je).

We as a parent have to think about babysitter as well. They surely want to make a living too!
Of course they want increment and career progress. Kan our currency value rendah, living cost tinggi.
Nursery pun satu, jangan la charge mahal2 and nak kejar untung je. They need to offer quality too.
It make sense nowadays, household income in Malaysia (2014) need at least MYR12000 to have a decent life.
Ako yang malas kerja pun pulun at least 4 days OT (40 hours) to achive decent money, so does nursery owner.
Lari topic jap.

Anak tu pembawa rezeki but x salah if you need to plan before ada anak.
As I said, our currency value rendah, living cost tinggi.
So kalau ada duit tu bayar je la taska yang mahal, janji ada quality.
This advice goes to me.

P/S: Acano nak buat? I think the idea of having retired/housewife to become babysitter ok kt. But we need to follow la their schedule